The Muppet Show

Fozzie works on a new act -- jokes on any subject -- and drives everyone crazy. Finally, he gets on stage and asks for any word. Statler and Waldorf call his bluff by yelling out: "Amoeba!"

Fozzie Bear becomes embroiled in a running gag involving the backstage phone. Throughout the episode, Rita parodies her combative image. She battles with several Muppets, including Miss Piggy, a Full-Bodied Muppet, and Animal, who's backing her on drums in her closing number, "Fever."

Fozzie performs Gags Beasley's famous "banana sketch," which everyone has heard of except Kermit. When Kermit asks Sandy and Fozzie to tell him what it is, they laugh too hard to explain it.

A young kid named Scooter applies for a job as a go-fer. When Kermit remarks that he doesn't even look like a gopher, Scooter explains that he'll go-fer coffee, he'll go-fer sandwiches, he'll go-fer anything. Kermit says he doesn't have the money to hire him, until Scooter mentions that his uncle owns the theater.

Scooter's uncle sends a mechanical, wind-up TV show host, an exact duplicate of Kermit. The robot harasses Kermit and flirts with Miss Piggy.

Scooter talks Fozzie into doing "the telephone pole bit," and Fozzie practices dutifully until he finds out what the bit is: Fozzie dresses up as a public telephone, and Scooter asks what his name is. "Mike Oznowiczki," Fozzie says, and Scooter exclaims, "Oh, so you're the telephone Pole!"

The Muppet Theatre is plagued by a variety of pig-related problems, both onstage and off. First, The Bouncing Borsalino Brothers flub their act and crash through the stage floor. Backstage, Miss Piggy throws herself at an uninterested Kermit and then jealously interrupts his onstage Talk Spot, physically threatening guest star Florence Henderson, whom she thinks is horning in on her frog. The feud continues in the Panel Discussion as Florence throws pig slurs around.

Kermit becomes jealous when Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Hilda and Scooter rave about Peter Ustinov. At the end, Peter admits that he's jealous of Kermit; he's always wanted to be a frog.

Kermit cuts Miss Piggy's scheduled song so she won't look foolish following Lena Horne. He tells her that "there are singers and there are singers," making her think that he doesn't want her to show up Lena.

Embarrassed about being the "token person" on the show, Harvey is dressed up as a giant chicken.

Fozzie brings a series of deliveries to Kermit, pestering the frog with lousy gags.

Fozzie gets stuck in a magician's trick cabinet. The cabinet is dragged onstage so that he can perform his act -- and at the end of the act, two pig stagehands tip the box over so he can take a bow. Crazy Harry, who makes frequent appearances (and frequent explosions) during the show, blows up the cage before the end of the show so that Fozzie can escape.

When he's unable to get a spot on the show, Gonzo asks Scooter to be his manager. Scooter advises Gonzo to do a rock act, banging on a large rock with a mallet. Later, Gonzo tries his hand at female impersonation, wearing a dress and a blonde wig. Scooter gives up managing when Gonzo eats his contract.

Aging wardrobe woman Hilda puts on a wig and makeup to try to make herself look younger. She is spotlighted in a backstage plot for the first and last time.

To make Kermit jealous, Miss Piggy instructs Scooter to tell him that Avery is in love with her. Kermit finds out that it's all a trick, and Piggy karate-chops everybody.

Kermit is skeptical when everyone backstage is terrorized by "the Phantom of the Muppet Show." There turns out to be one, though -- Uncle Deadly, a monster-actor who performed in the theater years ago. After being panned by the critics, he vowed never to perform there again, and not to let anyone else perform either. He warns the Muppets, "Leave or be doomed!"

This is one of only a few Muppet Show episodes that open the show after the theme song with some kind of offstage scene. There's also a couple of scenes with the guest star in her dressing room conversing with Muppets instead of onstage in the Talk Spot. In last week's "At The Dance", Boppity danced in drag with another monster. This week Boppity appears as normal but his partner is in drag. In both instances, he ends up headless.

Miss Piggy is repulsed when Gonzo tells her that he loves her. Kermit tries to help by asking Piggy if she would like to go to dinner -- and when she accepts, he fixes her up with Gonzo. Everybody gets karate-chopped.

Muppy, the favorite pet of The Muppet Theatre owner J. P. Grosse, becomes a prima donna when Kermit reluctantly allows him to do a musical number with Scooter. Muppy even gets his own dressing room and star billing, but Kermit draws the line when the dog asks to change the show's title to The Muppy Show. When Muppy locks himself in his dressing room and refuses to perform, Scooter does the number with Fozzie instead.

Tired of the "embarrassingly square" theme song, bass player Floyd Pepper informs Kermit that he and the rest of the orchestra pit (except Rowlf) are quitting. Kermit says their conductor Nigel will write a new theme, but Floyd refuses: "He wrote the first one, man." Floyd performs his idea for a new theme, a dreadful Zappa-esque piece called "Fugue for Frog." Kermit won't use it and refuses that Floyd submits to Kaye Ballard a petition about the theme song, so the band leaves. The closing theme is performed solo by Rowlf on the piano.

Fozzie Bear has a plan to get back at Statler and Waldorf when he does his act, but is crushed when he's replaced by Bruce Forsyth. Fozzie throws some nasty jokes and, for the first (and last) time, leaves the two old codgers speechless. Then Fozzie and Bruce end up performing together, and sing "Side by Side." A duck appears frequently in the sketches and skits.

Fozzie's agent, Irving Bizarre, negotiates Fozzie's contract with Kermit. Kermit ends up offering Fozzie ten times as much money; unfortunately, Fozzie made nothing before. "Yeah, and don't forget," Irving says, "I get ten percent of that."

When Fozzie overhears Hilda, Kermit, and Scooter talking about getting rid of "that bear," he thinks they're talking about him, only to find out later it's actually Gonzo's teddy bear that everyone is badmouthing.

In honor of guest star Vincent Price, the show is filled with monsters, ghosts, bats, vampires and spooky situations. A three-headed monster auditions for the show: "We sing!" "No, we dance!" "No, we tell jokes!"

Kermit is hassled by Daily Scandal reporter Fleet Scribbler, who blackmails his way backstage at The Muppet Show and is determined to spin everything he hears in a negative light. He even offers Miss Piggy a picture spread if she'll give him the real dirt on the Muppets. Soon, even the Swedish Chef is talking to Fleet, who answers in mock-Swedish.

Madeline tells Gonzo she thinks he's terrific on the show, and the ego-starved Gonzo instantly falls in love with her. He drops in to Miss Piggy's dressing room to tell her he no longer has a crush on her, which pleases her until she finds out that he likes someone else. Gonzo's obsession takes him to the brink of marrying her until hearing her comments to Kermit of his going off the deep end breaks his fragile heart.

Fozzie Bear is so intimidated by the thought of meeting Milton Berle, "the King of Comics," that he spends the whole show hiding from the guest star. His flimsy disguises don't fool Kermit or Scooter, but when Fozzie finally overhears Milton saying that he'd like to do a song-and-dance with him, Fozzie springs out of hiding, and the pair performs "Top Banana" together in baggy pants and big shoes.

Gonzo catches a cannonball with his bare hand, which stretches his arm out. Fozzie and Floyd crack jokes about the situation. Gonzo turns to John for help, but John ends up pulling the rest of his limbs out to match. Meanwhile, John isn't pleased with being on the show. He's tied to his chair before the show, he complains about the number of pigs and monsters on the show, and he gets roped into doing a closing number.

Kermit is at home sick so Fozzie has to run the show and proves how bad he could be by having Crazy Harry of all people have an opening skit "Target Practice", then getting "Vets' Hospital" and "At The Dance" on the same stage at the same time, causing a lot of trouble for the bear and his costars.

Gonzo auditions real chickens for his dancing chicken act. Due to a last-minute cancellation, he finally gets on stage, but his chicken Lolita hardly moves.

Inspired by Edgar and his dummies, Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snerd, Fozzie tries his hand at a ventriloquism act. Unfortunately, he doesn't really understand the principle behind the act, and expects his dummy to talk on his own.

Robin wants his own spot on the show, but his uncle Kermit doesn't even notice him with bigger costars like Thog, Sweetums, and Timmy stomping around. The little frog even tries to run away but just ends up locked in his own suitcase. When Bernadette Peters notices him and tries to cheer him up, however, Robin finds out that all the Muppets believe in him. He becomes so confident that he demands to sing "They Call the Wind Maria," but Kermit settles on a cute, little song called "I'm Five" instead.

Miss Piggy hires Scooter to pay off the audience to go wild for her. She also has him send her dozens of bouquets and write her piles of fan mail, all part of an attempt to get Kermit to notice her more. Piggy and Scooter stage a conversation for Kermit to overhear, in which she pretends to have an offer from another show, but Kermit isn't fooled. After finding out from Scooter what's really going on, he tells Piggy he's heard about her offer and has decided to let her go. When she breaks down in tears, sobbing that she can't leave him, Kermit agrees to take her back, but at a lower salary. After all, if she can afford to have Scooter pay off the audience for her... Miss Piggy gets hysterical and depressed, but is refreshed by Dom DeLuise.

Miss Piggy overhears Kermit tell Scooter that she's getting too fat to do her ballet number next week, so she decides to go on a diet. She breaks a scale weighing herself, and collapses after exercising with a TV show for a few minutes.

Kermit cancels the show in order to audition new acts. Guest star Steve is angry at first, but he goes on to perform for the cast. Fozzie worries that Kermit plans to hire replacements, especially after the audition of a canine comedian, Baskerville the Hound. Kermit tells Fozzie that he should appreciate seeing another artist's work -- until Lenny the Lizard auditions as a new emcee. A young singing girl, called Mary/Terry/Carrie Louise, is systematically removed off, when she makes an attempt of audition with her croaking partner.

Fozzie Bear has a new rollerskating act, but since he doesn't know how to skate, he spends the entire episode careening around backstage. He eventually manages to roll out onto the stage to tell his jokes, but when he gets too ambitious and tries to skate backwards on one leg, he falls off the stage.

Sketches/Songs: "The Lonely Goatherd", "Muppet Newsflash", Gonzo's Act, "Moonlight Sonata", "Won't Somebody Dance With Me?", "Borneo", "When You Were a Tadpole and I Was a Fish", "An Editorial by Sam The Eagle", "Muppet Labs", "I Whistle a Happy Tune"

Sketches/Songs: "A Gypsy's Violin", "When", "Down Memory Lane", Masseur sketch, "It's Not Easy Bein' Green", "Muppet Labs", "Cigarettes & Whiskey"

Sketches/Songs: "Crocodile Rock", "Swedish Chef", "Benny and the Jets", "Veterinarian's Hospital", "Any Old Iron", "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road", "Pigs In Space", "Don't Go Breaking My Heart"

Sketches/Songs: "Limbo", "Ain't Got That Swing", "Pigs In Space", Bruce Schwartz, "Mad Dogs and Englishmen", "Swedish Chef", "(I Wonder Why) You're Just In Love", Fozzie's Act, "If"

Sketches/Songs: The Electric Mayhem, A Wagner opera performed, "Swine Lake", "Something's Missing", "Veterinarian's Hospital", "It's Cold Outside", "Clair De Lune", "Top Hat"

Sketches/Songs: "Leatherwing Bat", "Pigs In Space", "An Editorial by Sam The Eagle", "I Know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly", "Muppet Newsflash", "Talk to the Trees", "Koozebanian Phoob", "Do-Re-Mi", "Swedish Chef", "Send in the Clowns"

Sketches/Songs: "Cuento Le Gusta", "Train Back Home", "Chattanooga Choo Choo", "Veterinarian's Hospital", "Wotcher (Knocked 'Em in the Old Kent Road)", "I Won't Dance", "World's Most Powerful Explosive", "Medley"

Sketches/Songs: "That's Entertainment", "My Hero", Fozzie's Act, "Swedish Chef", "Vedgetarian's Hospital", "Muppet Newsflash", "Pigs In Space", "Just in Time"

Sketches/Songs: "The Pig Calypso", "For What It's Worth", "Muppet Newsflash", "Swedish Chef", "Muppet Newsflash", Rowlf plays piano, "Long Long Ago", "Muppet Labs", Rowlf plays piano, "Don't Fence Me In"

Sketches/Songs: "Tweedle Dee Dee", "Swedish Chef", "At the Dance", "English Country Garden", "Talk Spot", "Pigs In Space", "Muppet Newsflash", "An Editorial by Sam The Eagle", "That Old Black Magic"

Sketches/Songs: "Chopin's Polonaise in a Flat", "What do the Simple Folk Do?", "At the Dance", "Muppet Labs", "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes", "Fears", "Drum Solo by Animal", "Lady Wrestling"

Sketches/Songs: "Tweedle Dee Dee", "Swedish Chef", "At the Dance", "English Country Garden", "Talk Spot", "Pigs In Space", "Muppet Newsflash", "An Editorial by Sam The Eagle", "That Old Black Magic"

Sketches/Songs: ""Rocky Top"", ""Swedish Chef"", ""Pigs In Space"", ""Yesterday When I Was Young"", ""I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire"", ""Talk Spot"", ""At the Barn-Dance"", Gonzo's Act, ""Sally Was a Good Ol' Girl""

Sketches/Songs: ""You Make Me Feel Like Dancing"", ""Carbon Paper"", ""The Daffodills"", ""The Show Must Go On"", ""She was a Dear Little Dicky Bird"", Fozzie's Act, ""When I Need You""

Sketches/Songs: ""The Lullaby of Broadway"", ""Modern Major General"", ""Muppet Melodrama"", ""Witch Doctor"", ""A Saucy Little Bird on Nellie's Hat"", ""Muppet Labs"", ""Muppet Newsflash"", ""Tap Your Troubles Away""

Sketches/Songs: ""My Soul is a Witness"", ""Muppet Labs"", ""Muppet Newsflash"", ""In the Good Old Summertime"", ""An Actor's Life For Me"", ""Pigs In Space"", ""At the Dance"", The Camelot joust

Sketches/Songs: ""Tico Tico"", ""Play a Simple Melody"", ""At the Dance"", ""Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me a Bow-Wow"", ""Talk Spot"", ""Muppet Melodrama"", ""Muppet Labs"", ""I'm Just Wild About Harry""

Sketches/Songs: ""You're Looking at Country"", ""I'm All Alone"", ""Muppet Newsflash"", Fozzie's Act, ""At the Dance"", ""Sentimental Journey"", ""Oh, Lonesome Me"", ""Veterinarian's Hospital"", ""Muppet Newsflash"", ""The Rhyming Song"", ""One's on the Way""

Gladys and the Swedish Chef provide service at the canteen as Kris Kristofferson and Rita Coolidge guest star.

Miss Piggy becomes increasingly jealous as Kermit appears to give a young pig performer attention.

Sketches/Songs: ""Staying Alive"", ""How Can You Be"", Fozzie's dance number, ""Muppet Newsflash"", ""Beethoven's Sonata No.8, Opus 13"", ""You and Me Against the World"", ""Veterinarian's Hospital"", ""Tie Me Kangaroo Down"", ""We'll Sing in the Sunshine""

Sketches/Songs: ""Octopus's Garden"", ""The Medium"", ""Eight Little Notes"", ""Swedish Chef"", ""Catch a Falling Star"", ""Veterinarian's Hospital"", ""Short People""

Sketches/Songs: ""Russian Pig Dance"", ""Dance"", ""Muppet Sports"", ""Someone to Watch Over Me"", ""Do-Re-Mi"", ""Our House"", ""The Wedding""

Sketches/Songs: ""Help Me Make It Through the Night"", Gonzo's Act, ""Muppet Labs"", ""My Wild Irish Rose"", ""Muppet Newsflash"", ""We're All Alone"", ""A Frog He Would a Wooing Go"", ""New York State of Mind"", ""An Actor's Life For Me"", ""A Song I'd Like To Sing""

Sketches/Songs: "Aquarius," "Lunchtime," "Cheek to Cheek," "Jogging," "Swedish Chef," "The Flying Zucchini Brothers," "The Municipal Vermin Abatement Code," "Inchworm"

Sketches/Songs: ""True Love"", ""South Rampart Street Parade"", ""Pigs In Space"", ""There's a New Sound"", ""I Enjoy Being a Girl"", Gonzo's Act, ""Sunshine on my Shoulder""

Sketches/Songs: ""Day-O"", ""Tea For Two"", ""Pigs In Space"", ""Honeysuckle Rose"", Animal and Harry play the drums, ""Muppet Sports"", ""Turn the World Around""

Sketches/Songs: Gonzo's first motorcycle jump, ""Beauty and the Beast"", ""Pigs In Space"", ""Mack the Knife"", ""Just the Way You Are"", Gonzo's second motorcycle jump, ""Last Dance""

Sketches/Songs: ""Never on Sunday"", ""Swedish Chef"", ""Veterinarian's Hospital"", ""Muppet Newsflash"", ""She Wants to Sing in Opera"", ""Liberace bird concert""

Sketches/Songs: ""Hey There, Good Times"", ""Muppet Labs"", ""Here You Come Again"", ""Mad About the Frog"", ""Bear on Patrol"", ""Vendawish"", ""Camilla"", ""Love Will Keep Us Together""

Sketches/Songs: ""Pennsylvania 6-5000"", ""Animal Crackers"", ""Pigs In Space"", ""Tuxedo Junction"", ""Pigs In Space"", ""Muppet Sports"", ""Row, Row, Row""

Sketches/Songs: ""Hawaiian War Chant"", ""Let's Call the Whole Thing Off"", ""Lady Be Good"", ""The William Tell Overture"", ""Veterinarian's Hospital"", Fozzie's Act, ""Bird in a Gilded Cage""

Song: Penguins in Mayflower: ""Alabama Bound"" Cluckitis (best running gag they ever had IMHO) Roger sings with watermelons Bear on Patrol: assaulting an officer Song: Roger: ""A Hat Like That"" Rowlf Vet's Hospital Song: Roger: ""Whack-a-Doo"" Song: ""Dang Me"".

Sketches/Songs: ""Blue Skies"", ""Skyball Paint"", ""Muppet Sports"", ""Deep in the Heart of Texas"", ""A Four Legged Friend"", ""Bear on Patrol"", Cowboy and Skyball sketch, ""Medley""

Sketches/Songs: ""Oklahoma"", ""An Editorial by Sam The Eagle"", ""The Music of Scotland"", ""Muppet Newsflash"", ""Dog Walk"", ""America"", ""The Intergalactic Brotherhood of Man, Including Things"", ""It's a Small World""

The Muppets perform the classic tale of Robin Hood.

Dudley has a surprise for Kermit, a robot that can do the work of the entire band and of course the Electric Mayhem feel threatened by this fact.

The Prairie Dog Glee Club sings very well, but Scooter says they have "pack rat blood in 'em -- they keep stealing everything!" The prairie dogs go wild, taking everything Kermit has -- including his collar, which leaves him naked on stage.

When Bobby Benson has to talk to a police officer someone has to take care of his babies. Unfortunately, the babies go wild without their daddy around and beat up people they don't like.

The pigs are excited that guest star Beverly Sills plans to perform the opera "Pigoletto" as the closing number.

Inspired by mimes Shields & Yarnell, Fozzie Bear works on a mime act, including "Bear walking against the wind". Kermit suggests that Fozzie find a more original act, so Fozzie tries out "Bear feeding spaghetti to an elephant" and "Bear going to a drive-in movie with a porcupine".

During a sketch Kermit hurts himself and keeps getting frightened by jungle animals in his hospital room or injured further by some crazy inconvenience.

Miss Piggy announces that this show is Kermit's birthday, and before he can react, she launches into the tribute she's organized. They've planned a This Is Your Life-style show with birthday greetings, including one from Mr. Dawson, Kermit's old acting coach from Leland, Mississippi. Wayne and Wanda, the singing duo from the first season, show up and give Kermit such a guilt trip that he rehires them. When they sing, Kermit remembers why he fired them in the first place.

John and Kermit have a surprise for the cast; they're all going to Kermits' home the swamp! But even Gonzo, even with his love of the nasty and strange, thinks it's a bad idea and no one is willing to take him up on the offer even when Kermit offers them to go.

For guest star Arlo Guthrie, the stage is turned into a farmhouse. The Swedish Chef plans a home-cooked meal, but the turkey refuses to be skewered, the pig busts him in the face, and the "beef" stampedes over him.

The Muppets present a murder mystery. Kermit is a private eye hired by Liza O'Shaugnessy, an actress whose production is being terrorized by a killer. The director, Fritz (Strangepork), is shot. The police assign Patrolbear Fozzie to the case, and he interrogates the cast: "All right, which one of you killed the director?" The suspects are themselves killed one by one, until Kermit and Liza team up to unmask the true killers.

Statler is sick (of the show), so Waldorf brings his wife Astoria to the show. Meanwhile, Inspector LaBrea of the County Environmental Department arrives backstage to monitor the noise level of the show. LaBrea tells Kermit that to keep the noise down, he has to cut the trumpets for the show. Kermit tries to keep LaBrea busy while Dizzy performs.

Phyllis hosts the 1st annual Muppet Awards, recognizing the greatest Muppet Show performers. Kermit, who hates awards shows, sits out the show, but Miss Piggy is absolutely determined to win.

After years of failure Gonzo is actually appriciated for the actor he is and decides to quit the Muppet Show and move on to movies. Piggy, more jealous than sad, asks Gonzo to refer her to the director. This is one of the episodes that teeters on the edge of being very sad.

As Miss Piggy prepares for her act, she leaves her dog Foo-Foo in the care of Floyd. Piggy tells Floyd he has to spoon-feed and floss the pampered Foo-Foo, so Floyd locks the dog in a drawer. Frantic, Piggy searches everywhere for Foo-Foo.

Scooter bugs everyone by leaving his skateboard lying around. Kermit trips on it and smashes a set. Later, Anne performs while the Muppets all dance on skateboards.

Jonathan is convinced that a gypsy has put a curse on the show, and while Kermit scoffs at the idea, he does notice that everything is going wrong. A few acts have to be canceled, but Kermit refuses to believe there's a curse until a meteorite falls on his flipper. In the final stage of the curse, everyone begins to speak in mock Swedish.

Everyone has a superhero bug, donning costumes and trying acts to impress the star of Superman: The Movie.

In honor of "Wonder Woman" Lynda Carter, Scooter buys a mail-order course on how to be a superhero. Soon, a crowd of Muppets are wearing silly costumes and reading Invincibility Made Easy. Meanwhile, Miss Piggy appears as "Wonder Pig", and battles a giant chicken.

The regularly-scheduled guest (a terrible singer) is bumped when four stars of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope suddenly appear in the theater. It's a natural for the Pigs in Space.

Alan accidentally drinks Bunsen Honeydew's Jekyll-and-Hyde potion, and turns into a rampaging monster. He runs amuck, as the ultra-cute Bun-Bun Brothers sing "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah." When Kermit catches Alan in a net, he turns back into himself. Soon, Kermit takes a sip of the potion himself.

Fozzie Bear tries out a magic act, pulling a rabbit from a hat. Instead, he gets a rabbi, and then a robot. He taps the hat too hard, and gets dozens of rabbits, who follow him around and call him "Daddy."

Miss Piggy asks Andy to sing "Love Story" for her and Kermit, who have just become engaged. Unfortunately, Kermit hasn't heard about the engagement yet. The rumor slips out, and soon everyone thinks Kermit and Piggy are getting married.

Miss Piggy buys a cute new pair of shoes, but they're too small, and she can't walk in them. She wants to take them back, but Kermit compliments them, so she has to keep wearing them. She complains to Carol, who says she should have them stretched, and gives them to the gigantic Timmy Monster, who runs around the block in them.

The show's audience members are getting horrified at everyone on stage except Diana Ross.

Kermit calls the Secret Service to hire real spies for Roger's closing number. (They're listed in the Yellow Pages.) However, Roger wants to do a cute, cuddly version of "Talk to the Animals". The spies, anxious for a chance to rub out James Bond, pose as fluffy animals to infiltrate the number.

How well can Loretta fit into Miss Piggy's roles? It all comes to a dramatic climax with the ""Pigs in Space"" installment.

Animal hits it off with tough guy James Coburn -- but James decides that Animal isn't centered enough, and introduces him to meditation and Zen. Animal doesn't take well to Zen.

Afraid that Linda will steal her frog away, Piggy locks Kermit up in a chest owned by Gonzo when Scooter helps him move his mildew ""collection"" and hides it.

Browsing through an old book of magic spells, Tony accidentally turns Miss Piggy into stone. He considers bringing her to a stonemason for help. Fozzie, Gonzo and Floyd crack stone jokes as Kermit and Tony try to find a spell to change her back. Of course, the show must go on, and the Piggy statue takes the stage for "Pigs in Space".

Thinking she was booked to do "The Muffin Show," Brooke finds herself growing and shrinking as the Muppets stage Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Kermit is plagued by a night of backstage crises. A group of skiers get hurt during the opening number, and after Kermit says that the theater will cover their medical costs, Scooter forgets to cash the check. The Teeterini Family are angry that their teeter board won't fit on the stage. The Swedish Chef prepares spring chicken, and the bouncing chicken drives Kermit crazy. And let's not even talk about the blindfolded, hang-gliding yodelers.

In honor of Señor Wences and his puppets, Kermit decides to do something new -- a puppet show! Fozzie wants to do a marionette act with a Dancing Clown puppet, but the marionette eventually pulls Fozzie down on the stage with him and takes control of the strings himself.

Miss Piggy is cornered by flautist Jean-Pierre, who wants to speak French with her. She claims to have laryngitis, whispering, "My vocal coach told me not to speak French. I'm not even supposed to eat French fries!"

The theater is under repair, but the workers have to destroy in order to build. They take the roof right off, leaving this show victim to the elements.

Rizzo and the other rats bother Kermit for a spot on the show, so Kermit asks Beauregard to "take care of them." Of course, Bo takes that literally, and treats them as guests. The rats make Beau their president, and manipulate him into giving them food. The rats eventually become so bold that they decide to take over the show. Kermit says Beau has to kick them out, or he goes with them. Beau chooses to stick with his new rat friends, until Miss Piggy enlightens him.

The Muppets present their version of 1001 Arabian Nights, with guest star Marty Feldman playing the role of Scheherazade, telling tales to an evil Caliph (played by the Swedish Chef).

Glenda reveals herself to be Black Jackson the pirate captain, and she takes over the Muppet Theater with the help of Short John Silver (Sweetums) and Eric, a heartless pirate parrot (in disguise as a penguin). They tie Kermit up, turn the theater into a ship, and cast off to look for buried treasure. The show ends with a musical battle at sea, with Gonzo and a crew of chickens fighting to save Kermit and the theater.

Gene is under the impression that he's a "guest" -- that is, he's going to sit and watch, but not perform onstage. Frantic, Kermit tricks him into performing by asking him to give him a dance lesson on-stage. Kermit plans a surprise closing number, "Singin' in the Rain," Gene refuses, saying that he doesn't think he'll ever sing the song as good as he did in the movie, but he does eventually sing it backstage. Meanwhile, Scooter uses his Tarot cards to predict that the world is coming to an end. Beauregard believes him, and tries to convince the rest of the cast the apocalypse is near.

Statler and Waldorf get their chance to do a better show than Kermit--they play host, while Kermit and Fozzie heckle from the balcony. Unfortunately, Statler and Waldorf's acts don't turn out exactly as they plan. The Berlin National Opera Company cancels and are replaced by the Salzburg Sauerkraut Singers. Hal's Fourth of July number is invaded by Gonzo on a sleigh singing Christmas songs. Finally, Statler and Waldorf admit that the show is harder to put together than it looks and happily go back to complaining from the balcony.

In honor of vaudeville-influenced guest star Wally Boag, the Muppets salute vaudeville, with a balloon animal act, a bagpipe player and a hypnotist. Wally performs acts he made famous at the Golden Horseshoe Revue at Disneyland, including the Pecos Bill teeth-spitting sketch.

Robin's Frog Scout troop visits the show, getting in everyone's way backstage. They ask Debbie for help earning their punk merit badges, and she teaches them how to do the pogo. When Gonzo cancels his act, the Frog Scouts get their chance to do a performance of close-order drills.

In honor of Johnny Cash's appearance, the show is simulcast over country radio station WHOG, and the radio broadcast threatens to overwhelm the actual show. The head of WHOG, Big Tiny Tall Saddle, insists on making all the decisions. He refuses to let Rowlf go on, and instead schedules Grampaw McGuire and his whistling bricks. Kermit tries to run his own show, but Big Tiny is one of the toughest men alive -- when he's annoyed, he has a habit of wrapping microphone stands around people's necks. Fozzie is replaced by Wally Whoopie, a stand-up comedian who makes fun of the bear -- which inspires Kermit to stand up for his friend, and his show.

There's no show today, almost; the theater is turned into a dance marathon hosted by Gonzo.

Thanks to Gonzo's refrigerated mildew collection, the power goes out in the theater, and Beauregard almost electrocutes himself trying to fix it. Half of the acts have to perform in the dark, until Dr. Bunsen Honeydew hooks up a generator that runs on Beaker-power. Beaker runs on a huge wheel to generate power, and when he gets tired, Bunsen helps to motivate him by releasing a hungry tiger onto the wheel.

Paul inspires Gonzo to be a songwriter. Unfortunately, Gonzo writes songs like "For You": "For youuu... I'd wash my hair with stinky glue, I'd fry my legs and eat them too, I'd put a spider in my shoe -- for yoouuuu!" Paul is stunned. Later, Gonzo's chickens run off with Paul, so Gonzo develops a new obsession -- asparagus. But at the end of the episode both the chickens and the asparagus run away when Paul asks for chicken with a side of asparagus.

A messenger brings a message from the scheduled guest star -- Benny Brillstein, the Yiddish yodeler. Benny refuses to be on the show, so Kermit asks Chris, the messenger boy, to be the guest. Chris knows a joke, so Kermit introduces him as a comedian.

Beaker tests Muppet Labs' new copier machine, ultimately falling into it and making seven copies of himself. The multiple Beakers gang up on Bunsen, and the doctor is forced to wear a disguise and hide from his assistants.

Kermit borrows fifty million dollars worth of gold for Shirley's closing number, "Goldfinger". Security guard Bruno is suspicious that Kermit wants to steal the gold, but keeping an eye on the frog makes him overlook a band of pig thieves, who steal all the gold as Shirley sings.