The Kids in the Hall

Call Girls, The Eradicator, Ballet, Crushing Your Head Part 2, Cause of Cancer, Pear, Kathie and the Blues Guy, Crushing Your Head Part 3 Sketches: Call Girls: Two girls call each other simultaneously. The Eradicator: The masked squash player. Ballet: The cruel ballet school teacher. Head Crusher #2: The head crusher crushes businessmen's heads. Cause Of Cancer: The Kids discover the cause of cancer. Pear: Man wakes up from the pear dream. Kathie The Blues Guy: Kathie & Mississippi Gary talk about their relationship. Head Crusher #3: Head crusher continued.

Thirty Helens 1, Sketch Comedy, Thirty Helens 2, Cabbage Head, Restaurant, Tractor, Sarcastic Guy, Buddy's Better, Thirty Helens 3, Womyn Sketches: - Thirty Helens Agree #1: "Love hurts." - Sketch Comedy: A comedy premise. - Thirty Helens Agree #2: "Honesty is the best policy." - Cabbage Head Restaurant: Cabbage Head goes on a date. - Tractor: Impromptu tractor formed with children. - Sarcastic Guy: The guy who can't help being sarcastic. - Buddy's Better: Buddy discusses the races. - Thirty Helens Agree #3: "You can't pay too much for a good pair of shoes." - Womyn: The guys discuss the ways they want to be like women.

Gunslinger II, Gorilla, Hey Man, Citizen Kane, Contact Lenses, Hey Man 2, Salty Ham, Hey Man 3 Sketches: - Gunslinger #2: Gunfighter that runs a concession stand. - Gorilla: Slapstick sketch about guys attacked by gorilla. - Hey Man #1: Man harassed by guys on the street - Citizen Kane: Two friends have a dispute about the name of a movie. - Contact Lenses: Story of a modern hero told by guy in an alley - Hey Man #2: Family harassed by guys continued. - Salty Ham: Gordon complains about Fran's salty ham. - Hey Man #3: Funeral goers harassed by guys concluded.

Deja Vu, Asshole, The Daves I Know, Menstruation, House Rules, The Dinner, Sick of the Swiss, Country Doctor Sketches: - Deja Vu: Guys fighting in alley, one gets deja vu - Asshole: Rude guy ruins some friends' evening out. - The Daves I Know: Bruce sings about the Daves he knows. - Menstruation: Dave talks about menstruation. - House Rules: Man fighting with wife demands to be let into the house. - The Dinner: Timmy tries to console his mother & father. - Sick Of The Swiss: The guy who is sick of the Swiss. - Country Doctor: The leisurely country doctor comes to save the farmer.

Indian Drum, Geralds, Crushing Disco 1, Good Grampa, Explore Scott, Are Extraterrestrials Dull?, Elvis, Crushing Disco 2 Sketches: - Indian Drum: Man screams about his lost indian drum - Geralds: Businessmen negotiate relationships. - Crushing Disco #1: Head crusher crushes heads outside a club. - Good Grandpa: Family at dinner talks about Grandpa's poo. - Explore Scott: Take a vacation on Scott's body. - Are Extraterrestrials Dull?: Exploration of the question ""Are Extraterrestrials Dull?"" - Elvis: Bruce wonders what it would be like if Elvis were his landlord. - Crushing Disco #2: Head crusher continued.

Thirty Helens 1, Bored Robbers, Running Faggot, Thirty Helens 2, Flogging, The Trucker, Can I Keep Him? Sketches: - Thirty Helens Agree #1: "Tattoos aren't for everyone." - Bored Robber: Apathetic burglar robs apathetic homeowner. - Running Faggot: The song of the running faggot. - Thirty Helens Agree #2: Twenty-Nine Helens Agree, "Promptness is important." - Flogging: Tense businessmen go to the gym to relax. - The Trucker: The story of a truck owner. - Can I Keep Him?: Kid brings home a stray businessman.

Hotel La Rut, Plummet, Hotel La Rut 2, First Poem, Fletcher Christian, Hotel La Rut 3, Joymakers Sketches: - Hotel La Rut #1: They can't help thinking about Tony. - Plummet: Parachuters wonder about the odds. - Hotel La Rut #2: Hotel continued. - First Poem: Angered by world, Bobby writes first poem. - Fletcher Christian: Not the real Fletcher Christian. - Hotel La Rut #3: Hotel continued. - Joymakers: Nena from Joymakers makes a surprise party at A.T. & Love.

Ping Pong, The Vacation, Ping Pong 2, Chain Gang, The Banker Doesn't Like Us, Dinosaurs, Ping Pong 3, Tony Comes to Dinner, The Banker Doesn't Like Us 2 Sketches: - Ping Pong #1: The annoying ping pong watcher's commentary. - The Vacation: The family blowout before the trip. - Ping Pong #2: The annoying ping pong watcher. - Chain Gang: Guy from the chain gang is recognized in a restaurant. - Banker Doesn't Like Us #1: The ""Nobody Likes Us"" Guys try to get a loan. - Dinosaurs: Buddy talks about dinosaurs' bad manners - Ping Pong #3: The annoying ping pong watcher. - Tony Comes To Dinner: White girl brings home a black boyfriend to meet her parents. - Banker Doesn't Like Us #2: The ""Nobody Likes Us"" Guys continued.

A Place to Die, Secretaries, A Place to Die 2, Preacher, Weston, A Place to Die 3, Teddy Bears' Picnic Sketches: - A Place To Die #1: Man explains how he's going to die in the house he was born. - Secretaries: Cathy & Kathie gossip about Tanya - A Place To Die#2 : Die in that house continued. - Preacher: Mark's preacher character - Weston: Weston discusses the stars. - A Place To Die #3: Die in that house continued. - Teddy Bear's Picnic: Father tries to put his kid to sleep with a story.

Hoopla McGuillicutty and Green, Wake Up!, MacIntyre Name, One Step at a Time, Nobody Likes Us, McGuillicutty and Kurosawa, Three for the Moon Sketches: - Hoopla: Security guard complains about hoopla. - McGuillicutty & Green: Vaudeville act with bad straight man. - Wake Up!: The drunk brothers come over at 3AM. - MacIntyre's Name: The story of a farmer. - One Step At A Time: Two guys discuss taking things one step at a time.. - Nobody Likes Us: ""Nobody Likes Us"" guys sing on a bus. - McGuillicutty & Kurosawa: Yet another bad straight man. - Three For The Moon Three guys sit on wall and discuss the moon.

Night of the Living Dead, Can Never Go Home, Thirty Helens Coleslaw, Under Control, Gunslinger 1, Star-Crossed Lovers, Thirty Helens Hawaii, Barbershop Sketches: - Night Of The Living Dead: Silly parody of the movie. - Can Never Go Home: Attila and his lover have a spat. - Thirty Helens Agree #1: Coleslaw - Under Control: Fire at A.T. & Love. - Gunslinger #1: Once shot a man just to watch him die. - Star Crossed Lovers: The lovers that were like Romeo and Juliet were. - Thirty Helens Agree #2: ""Hawaii was better before."" - Barbershop: Clem tells stories in the barber shop.

Turning Over, Mood Swing, Billy Dreamer 1, Folk Music, Who's Gay in Hollywood?, Billy Dreamer 2, Skoora! Sketches: - Turning Over: Kathie turns over. - Mood Swing: Several mood swings happen in this lovely home. - Billy Dreamer #1 : Billy Dreamer talks to his boss. - Folk Music: A discussion of folk music. - Who's Gay In Hollywood?: Weston Esterhazy and Virgil discuss who's gay in Hollywood. - Billy Dreamer #2: Billy Dreamer dreams while watching TV with friends. - Skoora: The legend of Skoora, the gentle shark.

Sign of Loneliness, Networking, Lopez 1, Fat Hitch-Hiker, Lopez 2, No Regrets, The Lamp, Lopez 3, Indian Woman, Lopez 4 Sketches: - Signs Of Loneliness: What's happening in the lonely city. - Networking: Gerald and Gerald network at a business party. - Lopez #1: Man calls out for Lopez outside of a house. - Fat Hitch-hiker: Man gives a "fat" guy a lift. - Lopez #2: Lopez continued. - No Regrets: Man criticizes donut shop customers. - The Lamp: Man who has to call the wife of a man who was killed by a lamp. - Lopez #3: Lopez continued. - Indian Woman: Boy who has decided to become an Indian woman. - Lopez #4: Credits.

Editors Intro, Editors (Film), Break Up, I Lied, Dull Death, I'm a Cat, My Routine, Schoolroom, Editors Finale Sketches: - Editors Intro: Editors discuss what to cut. - Breakup: Song about Bobby's breakup. - Editors #2: Editors discuss what to cut continued. - I Lied: Story of a man and his father. - Dull Death: The guy with the life-after death experience. - I'm A Cat The life of a cat, with the cat jazz band. - My Routine: The everyday routine of one man. - Schoolroom: Boring teacher has affair during class. - Editors Finale : Editors discuss what to cut continued.

Death Row, White Guy, Crazy Love, Buddy's Island, Captain Alan, Mechanic, Baby Sketches: - Death Row: Girls discuss cutest boy on death row. - Man Guy: The faux blues man from Vermont. - Crazy Love: The men who love all women. - Buddy's Island Buddy stranded on a desert Island. - Captain Alan: Drunk guy pretends to be a cop. - Mechanic: The mechanic with the beautiful blonde locks. - Baby: A baby-less couple talks to a mother in the park.

The Floater, Is He?, Thirty Helens: Pens, Manny Coon, Thirty Helens: Minds, Bass Player, Compensation, Thirty Helens: Disagree, Power of my Cock Sketches: - The Floater: Man wonders how did this happen. - Is He?: Cathy & Kathie wonder if the new guy is gay. - Thirty Helens Agree #1: Pens. - Manny Coon: A brief speech by Manny Coon. - Thirty Helens Agree #2: Minds. - Bass Player: A tribute to a bass player - Compensation: Workmen explain how compensation works. - Thirty Helens Agree #3: Disagree. - Power Of My Cock: A man holds the house hostage from inside the bathroom.

Boo!, Dracula, The Middle, Crushing Girlfriend, Mass Murderer, B & K, Beautiful Women Sketches: - Boo!: The author of scary books. - Dracula: Leslie has a friend over. - The Middle: A comedy sketch premise. - Crushing Girlfriend: Head Crusher's friend comes over. - Mass Murderer: A look at the life of a murderer. - B&K: A song and dance team. - Darcy Pennell: Ugly women's fashions.

Love Me, Stinky Pink, Premise Beach, Crouton, Olympics, Premise Beach 2, Shitty Soup, She's Gone Sketches: - Love Me: Guy cooking steaks; guys runs up. - Stinky Pink: Fran's friend Barbara explains to her son about her separation and new hair color. - Premise Beach #1: People who shouldn't run for office. - Crouton: The story of the big crouton. - Olympics: Tragedy at the Olympics. - Premise Beach #2: People with gift heads. - Shitty Soup: Everyone who comes here has it. - She's Gone : Girl leaves guy because of fly on his face.

Hey Baby, Island Boys, Can't Kill Rock, Tarantula, Cat's Away, Mutilated, Car Ride, OWWW Sketches: - Hey Baby: Guys at a bar bark at women. - Island Boys: Island-native brothers discuss manhood. - Can't Kill Rock: Bobby and teacher discuss the death of rock. - Tarantula: The pick up artist. - Cat's Away: Guys party when girlfriends leave. - Mutilated: Scott complaining about some missing... skin. - Car Ride: A nice ride through the country. - Owww: Monique the pyromaniac is fired.

Fat Man, How We Met, Thirty Helens: Photos, Bank People, Double Date, Buddy is Canadian, Buddy Holly, Thirty Helens: Helens, Dr. Seuss Bible Sketches: - Fat Man: The fat man song. - How We Met Nena and husband find out how their friends met. - Thirty Helens Agree #1 : "There's a time and a place to show photos of your kids." - Bank People: Who the hell are they. - Double Date: The guys go on a date in a restaurant. - Buddy Is Canadian: Buddy discusses Canadians. - Buddy Holly: What Buddy Holly was really like. - Thirty Helens Agree #2: "A Helen is a Helen." - The Dr. Seuss Bible: A presentation of the Bible if it was written by Dr. Seuss.

Sketches: Death Row: Episode 115 - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Melanie - In short- Girls discuss cutest boy on death row. Banker Doesn't Like Us: Episode 108 - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- "Nobody Likes Us" Guys - In Short- They can't get a loan because Elinor doesn't like them. Buddy's Better: Episode 102 - Stars- Scott - Recurring Characters- Buddy Cole - In short- Buddy comments on what "they say" about the races. Crushing Your Head #2: Episode 101 - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Mark, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Mr. Tiscic aka Mr. Tyzik aka the Headcrusher - In Short- The Headcrusher crushes businessmen's heads. Citizen Kane: Episode 103 - Stars- Bruce, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In Short- It was Citizen Kane...or maybe it was Psycho. Car Ride: Episode 119 - Stars- Bruce - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- The $300 car. Womyn: Episode #102 - Stars- Dave, B

Skits You Millionaires! - Stars: Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters: N/A - In short: A man asks the millionaires to leave his trash alone. Oversensitive Guy - Stars: Dave, Bruce, Kevin - Recurring Characters: N/A - In short: The Oversensitive Guy's girlfriend dumps him. Working Stiffs - Stars: Mark - Recurring Characters: Mr. Tiscic aka Mr. Tyzik aka the Headcrusher - In short: The Headcrusher crushes yuppies' heads. Goodnight Nookie - Stars: Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters: Cabbagehead - In short: Cabbagehead gets his date to let him in for a drink. Rusty - Stars: Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters: N/A - In short: Rusty likes seniors. Old Lady/Battle - Stars: Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters: Mr. Tiscic aka Mr. Tyzik aka the Headcrusher - In short: A man tries to save an old lady from the Headcrusher. Love at First Sight - Stars: Scott - Recurring Characters: Buddy Cole - In short: Buddy discusses the notion of love at first sight. Reg - Stars: Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters: N/A - In short: Four men's buddy Reg. Headcrusher quits for the Night - Stars: Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters: Mr. Tiscic aka Mr. Tyzik aka the Headcrusher - In short: The Headcrusher quits for the night...or does he?

Sketches: - Spring: What a man likes about spring. - Comfortable: How comfortable are these couples? - Trucker #2: Truck Owner makes a phone call. - Hard Day: An undercover alien overreacts to innocent questions. - Off Swingin': One cool cat. - The Doctor: How far can you coast on just charm? - Bobby & The Devil: Bobby has a guitar fight with Satan.

Sketches: - Cops - O Canada: Our home and native land. - Trapper: The daily hunt begins. - Cabbage Head - Old Friends: Cabbage Head at it again. - It's Not Working Out #1: Chris is fired. - The Loner: ...And his toe. - It's Not Working Out #2: Chris is fired... again. - Simon & Hecubus: In the Pit of Ultimate Darkness. - It's Not Working Out #3: Chris is fired... one more time. - Girls Of Summer: Coach Buddy does it again.

Sketches: - Newscast - Paper Airplanes: The Channel 7 News Team - Sizzler & Sizzler: Sizzler sisters' lounge act. - Pageant: Kathie wins Miss Canadian - Tony & Nick: Two friends in the subway. - Newscast - Meech Lake: Channel 7 News Team, again. - A Little Something: Executive has cucumber salad on his face. - Phone: A phone rings incessantly!

Sketches: - Nutty Bunnies: Nutty bunnies frolic in a field. - Queer Nation: Buddy talks about who is gay. - Cops - Uniform: Proper Uniforms. - Excellent Dinner: Darryl on a Date. - Cops - Stance: The proper way. - The Parrot: A man with nagging wife and parrot. - Cops - Naked: Naked through the woods. - Customer: Man who wanted his bill five minutes ago. - On The Run: The Cops chase some escaped convicts.

Sketches: - The Jury: Bruce is charged in court with being an asshole. - Cops - Shootout: A standoff. - Prisoner: Buddy explains how he got put in prison. - Sizzler & The Bank: The Sizzlers try to rob a bank. - Cops - 211 In Progress: The cops in action. - Chicken Lady: The Chicken Lady gets a date. - Drugs Are Bad: Kevin reports hash dealers to the cops. - Cops - Prisoner: Locked keys in car. - Clean Sheets: Best things in life. - Justice: The trial of a lifetime.

Sketches: - Second Novel: "The Heavy Pen." - Baboon: Humanoids for Humanism help animals. - Hair Loss: A man loses his hair in a restaurant. - Conversation: The amicable breakup turns nasty. - Buddy - Wood Nymph: Buddy spots a wood nymph. - Anecdote Guy: Good night! I'm joking! - Groovy Teacher: Theo the cool teacher confides to his class.

Sketches: - Lady Is A Tramp #1: A man tries to befriend a whore. - Meet The Geralds: Gerald is in a slump - I'm English: Thinks everyone should speak English. - Lady Is A Tramp #2: Man proposes to the Lady. - Painting A Chair: Gavin pesters a guy painting a chair. - The Lack-O-Trust Blues: Philanderer sings a song in a western bar. - Lady Is A Tramp #3: Lady is a Tramp 30 years later.

Sketches: - I Can't Play The Piano: A horrible lounge act sing a song. - Democracy: A birth of a nation. - Tampa Bay: Gordon is fired. - Cops - Duck: A duck? - Freak: A man who bleeds at will! - Cops - Tony Baldwin: Real cops with fake cops. - Seminar Money Momentum!!! - Celebrity: A night with Tony Baldwin. - Liposuction: What a lovely song.

Sketches: - Cops - Dream: Bust the queen while drinking tea. - Crushing Hospital: Mr. Tyzik is injured and must undergo physical therapy. - Cops - Dad: Don't love my dad. - Daddy Drank: The story of how daddy drank. - The Leash #1: The slave and master on the street. - Cops - Shelley Long: Enough said. - Knocked Out: A guy knocks himself out. - The Leash #2: Shelly Long. - The Last Straw: Gavin pesters his mother while she's on the phone. - Parenting: Disillusioned parents hold a press conference. - Dead Dad: The Kids discuss beating up their fathers.

Sketches: - Guess Your Weight: Guy who can guess everything but weight. - Go For Guilt: Nena's first date with a guy. - Hustlers - Math Teachers: The message to the old math teachers. - Fag Basher: Leslie saves a guy from some delinquents. - Friendly Rivals: Worker who keeps a list of his office enemies. - Show Within A Show: The Scott Thompson show by Scott Thompson. - Mr. Hugula: A man in restaurant who can't remember who he is. - Housework Hustlers: Men whoring their maid service. - Chocolate: The girls have a get-together. - Eating In The Shower: Credits.

Sketches: - Fact #2: Beethoven's 5th - That's America: Bruce salutes America. - Prisoner's Jam: A politician judge at a jam-tasting contest. - Fact #3: Queen's ABC's - Cuttin' It Close #1: A guy who watches for tits on TV. - Secret Of Broadway: Girls backstage discuss the new play. - Cuttin' It Close #2: A guy who finally sees some tits on TV. - Hustlers - Richard Nixon: A message to Richard Nixon. - Mispronouncer: This is why some words are spelled FOU-NET-ICK-LY - Fact #3A: Red-headed Witches. - Dead Fish: Guys who hold their arms in a tank of dead fish. - Fact Girl & Queen: Credits.

Sketches: - Cops - Bubble Bath: Disturbing. - How I Sleep: Kevin shows us how he sleeps. - Old Friends: Woman talks about her husband's mistress. - Standing: "Stand in the New Style" hip-hop song. - Vegas: On a faraway planet, son asks his father about the place they call Vegas. - Carpenter: Proof that Jesus was a bad carpenter. - Cops - Daughter: She's so young. - Encounter: The support group for people that won't be tyrannized by their bladders.

Sketches: - Cops - Good Cop/Bad Cop: They're getting the hang of it. - Brad & The Phone: A guy calls for phone sex. - Fact #1: Uncle Tony. - Book, Bottle, Blonde: A story of a guy who writes children's books. - Cops - Money: Best thing about being a cop. - Shoes: Evan the intense shoe salesman. - Evil T: Maybe it's the letters? - Fact #5: Bigfoot Singing. - Heckler: Mississippi Gary is heckled. - Fact #4: Neighbors in love. - The Long Note: The Kids visit Bruce as he recovers from his suicide attempt.

Sketches: - Report: A man coughs up the report in a business meeting. - Gandar #1: An attempt at hypnosis. - M. Piedlourde Court Un Marathon: Speaks for itself. - Jazz Music: Bruce hates jazz. - Gandar #2: Hypnosis attempt continued. - Touch Bellini: Announcement of the contest winner. - The Affair: Story of the secret affair. - M. Piedlourde Essait L'Auto: Speaks for itself. - Queen To Queen: Buddy and the Queen's correspondence.

Sketches: - M. Piedlourde Donne Un Cuop De Pied An Ballon: Speaks for itself. - Scott's Not Gay: Panic! - First Time: Melanie has a date. - Bad News: He's kinda evil. - Poo Guy: Bruce is the Poo Guy - M. Piedlourde A Une Rende-Vous: Speaks for itself. - Victim: A guy who apparently wants to get beaten up. - Night Of The Cow: The story of the Night of the Cow. - M. Piedlourde Sur La Lune: Speaks for itself.

Sketches: - One Of These Five Men: Really? - Cincinnati Kid: The Cincinnati Kid looks for the Toronto Kid. - Career Ending #2: Leslie de Gaulle Trio -- anti-Communist folk singers. - Thirty Second Stories - Joe: Magnetic Joe. - No Words: A woman misinterprets an innocent request for the time. - Thirty Second Stories - Dump: Going to the zoo. - Career Ending #1: Woman thanks Hitler. - The Trip: A trip to the farm. - Wild Weekend: Cathy has a scandalous weekend.

Sketches: - Thousand Dollars: Song in a western bar. - Cops - Towing: Ticketing my car. - Decorator #1: A man gets a demon to brighten up his apartment. - Headcrusher - Rival: A battle to the death. - Shortest: They haven't got a clue. - Bellini Finale: Bellini gets touched. - Cops - Graveyard: First traffic ticket. - Governor: A governor talks with hooker. - Ham Of Truth: It's F-ing good ham. - Decorator #2: Credits

Sketches: - Clandestine Meeting #1: Humanoids for Humanism plan to kill Cabbage Head. - The Letter: A disturbing piece of mail. - Plungers: A man talks about a great plunger salesman. - Clandestine Meeting #2: Cabbage Head is shot! - Fact #7: Aliens - Mr. Pin: Pin waiting in grocery store line impatiently. - Liza's Party: Weston Esterhazy's Hollywood spoon-head movie. - Clandestine Meeting #3: Cabbage Head in Heaven.

Sketches: - The Cure: A man embarrasses his friend at a bar. - Secretaries - Logey: The office is exhausted. - Thirty Second Stories - Tess: Who Built Cars - Directions: A guy who speaks English meets a guy who claims to speak no English. - Excellent Guy - Big Brother: Darryl spends time with his "Little Brother." - Thirty Second Stories - Office Party: Shame! - Taxpayer: A bad sketch is a waste of taxpayer money. - Thirty Second Stories - Fries: The Stones concert. - Into The Doors: A man in record store thinks about getting a Doors album.

Sketches: - Lively Party: A group of people play charades. - Butcher Shop: Gavin prices meat in a butcher shop - Cops - Sexism: Is it real? - Who's To Blame: The boss looks for someone to blame! - Cops - Clouds: What do they look like? - Having Tea: Two destructive guys have a tea party. - Faux Pas:: A man makes inappropriate comments. - Cops - Partners: What happened to them. - Messages: He is the best. - Tube Top Of Justice: What a story. - Hazy Movie: A man in a bar tries to explain a Francesca Fiore movie.

Sketches: Fact #1: Episode 213 - Stars- Bruce - Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl - In short- Her uncle Tony can spit really far. Headcrusher - Rival: Episode 217 - Stars- Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Mr. Tyzik aka "The Headcrusher" - In short- There can be only one. Off Swingin': Episode 201 - Stars- n/a - Recurring Characters- n/a - In Short- The most handsome man in the world. Daddy Drank: Episode 209 - Stars- Dave, Kevin - Recurring Characters- n/a - In Short- A story about how Daddy drank. The Affair: Episode 214 - Stars- Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Darrill - In short- Story of the secret affair. Fact #2 - Queen's ABC's: Episode 211 - Stars- Scott - Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl, Queen - In short- The Queen sings her ABCs. The Doctor: Episode 201 - Stars- Dave - Recurring Characters- Bad Doctor - In short- He's not boosting, he's just stating a fact. A Little Something: Episode 203 - Stars- Bruce, Scott - Recurring Characters- Don - In short- Executive has cucumber salad on face. Fact #4 - Neighbors: Episode 213 - Stars- n/a - Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl - In short- Her neighbors have been in love for forty-five years. First Time: Episode 215 - Stars- Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Melanie - In short- Melanie has her date over in her parent's bedroom. Girls Of Summer: Episode 202 - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Buddy Cole, Shona, Patty - In short- Buddy manages the Sappho Sluggers.

Sketches: Cops - Prisoner: Episode 205 - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Cops - In short- Suspect is locked in car. Comfortable: Episode 201 - Stars- Dave, Mark, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Nina Spudkneeyak, Nina's husband - In short- Nina's husband makes a "pass" at his old friend's wife. Trapper: Episode 202 - Stars- Dave, Mark, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Francois, Jacques - In short- The French-Canadian trappers who trap businessmen for their suits. Painting A Chair: Episode 207 - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Gavin - In Short- There's this guy and he's paintin' a chair. Cops - Shootout: 205 - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Cops - In short- A standoff outside a house. Chicken Lady: Episode 205 - Stars- Dave, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Chicken Lady - In short- Man answers her personal ad. Simon & Hecubus: Episode 202 - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Sir Simon Milligan, Hecubus, Satan - In short- Hecubus proves he is impolite and evil; Satan likes the show. Cops - Dad: Episode 209 - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Cops - In short- Never told his Dad he loved him. Hazy Movie: Episode 220 - Stars- Dave, Scott - Recurring Characters- Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones - In Short- Man in a bar tries to explain a Francesca Fiore movie. Eating In The Shower: Episode 210 - Stars- Kevin - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- Over the credits, Kevin eats in the shower.

The feathers go flying when the Chicken Lady spots Rooster Boy; Cabbie has his own set of road rules; some cops have more important things to discuss than a dead body.

Puppy won't do tricks; a man who dresses his best to get the paper; a sleepwalking boy steals his dad's money; a restaurant that has a relationship section.

A construction worker firmly denies sleeping on the job; Bruce discovers that he is only 17 inches tall.

A magical flying pig. The Best Actor award at the Oscars results. An axe murderer politely asks an old lady if he can borrow her axe. Men wear earrings in the 90s.

An open letter addressed to the guy who stole a bike wheel and a letter addressed to the people who stood by and watched.

Cops have a long night at a crime scene; Scott tries to blame a clown for spraying his boss with seltzer water; a drag queen with a gun starts a revolution.

Sir Simone has a date in the Pit of Ultimate Darkness; Bruce meets a man who could be his identical twin; a guy mocks people in a waiting room; Danny Husk reads the paper to discover that he has been kidnapped.

Einstein is mocked; three men take pride in their huge guts.

An old lady falls down and then gets robbed, but the cops don't want to get involved; a sketch artist draws people he's never seen based only on their voice; street singers receive a visit from the Loser Research Foundation.

Scott's clone won't stop misbehaving. A man shows his girlfriend a dead body in a field. Mark has to fill in for the Fact Girl while she's on strike.

A woman repeatedly remarries after repeatedly marrying the wrong guy. A man is put on trial for sexually harassing himself. The hip guy and his wife introduce their lovers.

A man has to get back up on a horse after choking on a chicken kabob; cops talk about what they might have done if they hadn't become cops; Buddy searches for a new lover.

A man who works in a wig shop tries to convince everyone he's not bald. A pizza guy lusts after schoolgirls. Sid wonders if he is too small to love.

Poems by the Emperor of Japan; Brice's advice for breaking into showbiz.

A businessman just stares; a man debates whether he should call a girl; the cops wonder why someone would abandon a perfectly good potato.

Mississippi Gary sings the After-Death blues; the Fact Girl discusses the importance of cleaning the ears; one of the Sizzler Sisters becomes sane.

A man reminisces about the Flying Pig; a woman names her god; Tanya annoys people at a party.

The alternate conclusion to "Old Yeller"; drugs and other vices; how to deal with noisy people.

Celebrating Scott's 100th portrayal of a waiter; Hecubus is fired and rehired; a wife walks in on her husband and a thief in bed.

The Bearded Lady; spy models; a horny patient.

Skits include: "Multiple Weddings," "Cabbie Bigot" and "My Pen!"

Skits include: "Chicken Lady at a Strip Bar," "Queen Speaks to Canada" and "Bar Fight.".

Skits: - Cameraman Ted Riley Memorial - The Dog for Whom I Feel Nothing - Whores - Pitiful Mechanic - Spider on the Face - Whores - Hyper Business Executive - Cabbie Delivers Rush-Hour Baby

- Street Fight -- Parents Watching - Cathy & Kathie & the New Girl - Street Fight -- Confusion - Darryl on a Date -- the Oompah Band - Street Fight -- Unfair Fight - Buddy -- Virtual Reality - Cyril St. John the Escapist - Hardboiled NY Rednecks

- Fiore Parfums Commercial (S)(4): commercial of Fiore Parfums (Francesca Fiore) - Whores (SK)(4): "Are you holding out on me?" (Maudre, Rudy) - The Fantasy Sexual Indescretion (BKM)(4): woman who has sexual fantasies reveals it to her boyfriend - I'm Turning Assistant into a Rat (DMK)(4): the man who is turning his assistant into a rat - Whores (DSK)(4): turning tricks for asthma medication (Whores, Rudy) - Can You Dig It? (B) (4): He dances with strobe lighting - Phil from the Warehouse with the Pains in his Head (MSB)(4): Phil pesters a man in a shoe store - Whores (SK)(4): John Wayne imitation (Maudre, Rudy) - The "Will Do" Guy in Prison (KDM)(4): Dean in prison (Dean, Lex)

The Governor's Wrong Number Spot Bellini Contest The Alley Fight 1 Multiple Personalities The Alley Fight 2 Sandwich People Never Put Salt In Your Eyes

Skits: Newscasters - Stars- Dave, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Nina Spudkneeyak, Channel 7 News - In short- The weatherman is not God. Emergency Room Practical Joker - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Nurse Unloop - In short- A dying man pulls a few jokes before he dies. Perks - Stars- Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- A man responds to Scott's personal ad. Out of Body Experience - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Myra - In Short- Myra has an out of body experience while choking. Sex Girl Patrol - Stars- Dave, Bruce - Recurring Characters- Preacher Character - In Short- A filmmaker's "very sexist" new film. So Says You - Stars- Dave, Kevin - Recurring Characters- n/a - In Short- A man tells his wife he has amnesia and a fear of death.

Radio Big Bats Apartment Games 1 Door-to-Door Knife Sharpener Progress in Food Apartment Games 2 Forced Date

Crazy Dad (KD)-A man tells a story about his dad locking him up for 10 years, but as a cruel joke. Chicken Lady Goes Home (all)-The chicken lady visits her old house (Chicken Lady, Tucker, Bearded Lady) Assistant Fired (MB)-The 45-year-old man fires his assistant (45 guy) Mixed Up Names (DS)-The bad doctor mixes up files at the hospital (bad doctor) 7 Things To Do (KD)-"Gotta keep on top of my life" (Thug a.k.a. Inept Hitman) Interviewing New Assistant (BM)-He doesn't get the job. He slobbered on the guy's joint. (45 year old guy) Hiring Assistant (B)-He finds a new assistant (45 year old guy) Judy & Fran (DBS)-They meet the new widow (Fran, Gordon, Judy)

Hookers - Rich Guy • Gavin - Religion • Try it NOW! • Just Terrific • Hookers - Puppet • Coincidence • Listening In • Hookers - New Coke • Thanksgiving

Chalet 2000

Receptionist • Walk A Mile In My Shoes • Cops - Rookie Trick Question • A Soulfulness They Never Had • Cops - Rookie Coffee • Answering Machine • Celebrity • Cops - Rookie Puke • Divorce Court

Alan Bouvier • Career Crisis • Nice Day For Work • Hookers - Plastic Surgery • Armada - Understudy • Hookers - Commitment • Lost and Found • Clothesline • Hookers - Too Easy • Comfortable High

Luck • Fine Line • Tuck it In • Losing My Religion • Serpico • The Hangover • Wild Man

Cops - Fridge • Third Time Lucky • Cops - Spring, Exposed • Hookers - Documentaries • Nudity • Cops - Europe • Business World • Katnapped

The Unexpirienced Cannibal (DKS)-He is not an EXPERIENCED cannibal Santa's Visit (MSK)-Boys have a doo doo and girls have a who hah. Spot Belinni Conclusion (B)-The exciting conclusion of who gets to have breakfast with Belinni at his or her local airport (Belinni) Looking For Frank (KD)-He's dealing with Steve "TWO PHONES" Macabee! Tammy's New Video (BM)-Tammy ain't gonna spread for no roses! (Tammy) My Art! (KB)-He borrowed his art and now he's stealing (the artist with the weird hair)

New Guy • Dad and Son Phone Call • Cops - Puck • Clear the Air • Seat 12B • Cops - Hair • Roller Bladers • Love and Sausages

Guilt • The Kathi's - Monday Meeting • The Voices • Steps - Hot • Becoming A Man • Steps - Drag • The Collector • Steps - Issues

Pops • Poker Face • Cheers • Cops - Worms • The Nap • Cops - Hungover • Contest • Just One Bite

Hookers - Transvestite • Excellent Composer • Hookers - Movie Star • Quarter Life Crisis • Cemetery • Drunk As a Crow • Advantage

People - Bike Courier • Ricardo • Chargin' Ya • Atrium • People - Winnipeg Chick • Art Studio • People - Hopeless Romantic • Surrogate

Cabbie • Seminar • Gezbo • Diploma • Cabbie Two • On Board • Scary Sandwich • Extreme Argument

Skits: Fiore Parfums Commercial - Stars- Scott - Recurring Characters- Francesca Fiore - In short- Smell like a bitch. Things To Do - Stars- Dave, Kevin - Recurring Characters- Thug - In Short- He's gotta keep on top of his life and on top of his schedule. Art Collector - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Shirling Guy - In short- Man negotiates the price for a piece of "art" to add to his collection. Who's Hot and Who's Not - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Smitty, Butch, Riley - In short- They guy-watch from the steps. Night I Connected With My Dog - Stars- Bruce - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- Bruce connects with a dog for which he previously felt nothing. The Life of Cyril St. John - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- A 70s-style documentary on an escape artist. Gay Marriage - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Smitty, Butch, Riley - In short- They

Skits: Inexperienced Cannibal - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- He didn't get on the plane expecting to eat anyone. Try it NOW! - Stars- Kevin, Scott - Recurring Characters- Danny Husk, Danny's Wife - In short- Maybe the uh spark plugs aren't firing. Sock Puppet - Stars- Dave, Scott - Recurring Characters- Jocelyn, Maudre - In Short- It's for nervous johns. Do Re Mi - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- Turning that frown upside down. Anal Probing Aliens - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Tucker - In short- Alien questions the point to his work. Transvestite - Stars- Dave, Scott - Recurring Characters- Jocelyn, Maudre - In short- A man wants to know if Maudre is one. Answering Machine - Stars- Bruce, Kevin - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- Husband and wife make their answering machine greeting. Chicken Lady Goes Home - Stars- Dave, Bruce,

Idiot Boy: Assistant, Cops: Interrogation 1, Feelyat, Cops: Interrogation 2, Catching Up, Martyr, Cops: Interrogation 4, The Beard Skits: - Idiot Boy at Work: Idiot Boy is causing problems at work - Police Department: 10:00 a.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? - You've Gained Weight: woman with eating disorder discusses weight problems - Police Department: 6:00 p.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? - Feelyat!: bizarre foreign-language game show (& news bulletin) - Brian's Been Arrested: Fran tells how Brian was arrested - Police Department: 11:00 p.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? - The Beard: Man's beard takes over his life

Cops: Interrogation 5, Please Please Please, Special Sauce, Chance Meeting, Cops: Interrogation 7, Document, Grizzly, Cops: Interrogation Finale Skits: - Police Department: 10:00 a.m. Precinct House - "conclusion" of "Did you kill that guy?" - Disgusting Old Man: old man asks neighbor to turn over his wife - The Chosen One Thinker: fast food crew chief/chosen one thinks - Chance Meeting: the story of a man's and woman's chance meeting - Police Department: 9:00 p.m. Precinct House - Did you kill that guy? - Firing Documentary: man makes documentary of being fired from work - Grizzly: man encounters a "bear" while hunting for chicks - Police Department: 1:00 a.m. Precinct House - real "conclusion" of "Did you kill that guy?"

Hookers: Drum Up Business, How To, Just One Guy, Hookers: Rap Music, Por-eef, Jug Head, The Hit Skits: - Whores: drumming up business - Meet Your New Male Slave: Buddy gets a new male slave - Someone Doesn't Like You: man discusses a guy who doesn't like a friend - Whores: rap music - Poreef: Money-Momentum guys sell new product in a grocery store - The Tattoo: man reveals his deep hidden secret - The Hit: man hires hit man to kill himself

God is Dead, New Boots, Fast Breakup, Hookers: Porno, Rockey, Hookers: Price List, Montreal 2, Dessert Skit: - God is Dead: newsreel footage of the death of God - New Boots: workers with steel-toed boots go to the job - Accelerated-Time Breakup: time accelerates whenever man leaves wife - Whores: new price list - Buddy's Bar: Buddy talks about Montreal - Whores: johns who can't pay - Dipping Areas: a restaurant kitchen discussion about the mousse dipping areas

Lesbian & Gay Pride, Waiter With Stumps For Hands, Squealin', Gavin: Leaking, Protest, Good to Cry 2, Drag Queens & Leather People, Sounds Skit: - Steps: gay pride day - Stump Hand Waiter: the waiter with stumps for hands - Butt Freak Film Buff: the guy who likes a certain type of movie scene - Gavin at the Police Department: Gavin registers a complaint at the police department - Steps: gay pride day continued - Guy Who Consoles People in Hospital: the guy who consoles crying people in the hospital - Steps: gay pride day continued - Evan the Stereo Salesman: Evan the intense stereo salesman

Fight-Picking Guy - This Close (SD)(5): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight • Weston & Virgil in 1972 (SMB)(5): Weston & Virgil at school in 1972 (Weston Esterhazy, Virgil) • Power-Mad after Promotion (KDM)(5): mail clerk gets promoted and goes power-mad • Sick about Crime (D)(5): experienced cop gets sick about lawbreakers • Laundromat Business Opportunities (MB)(5): businessman tries to lease underwear • Fight-Picking Guy - Up Your Craw (SK)(5): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight • Post-Apocalypse Poets (KMB)(5): post-apocalypse poets smokes pot and writes songs • Fight-Picking Guy - Hey! (SM)(5): guy in bar who wants to get in a fight • Coal-Shoveler with Angst (BM)(5): coal shoveler questions life

Slow Motion Trick (MDK)(5): guy acts slow to make friend leave • Ex-Girlfriend Relocation (MKD)(5): guy wants to have ex-girlfriend relocated • Whores (DS)(5): looking for a hooker with a heart of gold (Whores) • Love (B): Bruce monologue about love • Breast-Obsessed Businessman (KDS)(5): man obsessed with secretary's breasts • Whores (DS)(5): ""Want a date?"" joke backfires (Whores) • Naive Duck Hunting (SM)(5): hunting-naive companions go duck hunting • Whores (DS)(5) • They Love Me in France (all)(5): why Kevin is popular only in France

555-SLUT (none): gross guy's phone sex ad • Chicken Lady at the Mall (DMSB)(5): Chicken Lady masturbates at the mall (Chicken Lady) • Old People (B)(5): Bruce monologue about old people • Office Joker Revenge (MKB)(5): man wants to get revenge against office joker • 555-SLUT (none)(5): gross guy's phone sex ad • Exercise Class Instructors (MBS)(5): exercise class teachers have a fight • 555-SLUT (D)(5): friend-of-gross-guy's phone talk ad • Embarrasing Dinner (KSDM)(5): man's companion snorts coke at dinner (Smitty)

Steps* -- Coming Out (DSK)(5): Steps guys discuss coming out to their parents (Steps) • Crab Shampoo (KM)(5): American in Canada wants crab shampoo • Obfuscator Boyfriend (DB)(5): man obfuscates about moving in together • Mr. Tisane's Tea Problem (KMD)(5): Mr. Tisane addicted to tea (Mr. Tisane) • Boiled Potatoes (MDSK)(5): a man has an idea for a new restaurant • Steps* -- Movie (KDSB)(5): Steps guys see Intimate Circumstances (Steps)

Lick Town Clean (DK)(5): residents must lick the town clean • Agents in the Bar (SMK)(5): the Sudelmans in the bar order drinks after last call (Sudelmans) • The Lovers 3* (DM)(5): the lovers talk about their love (directed by Mark) • Noisy Kid (MBKD)(5): man in line complains about a yakky kid • Dave/Elk (DS)(5): comparison of Dave and an elk [Scott narrates] • Humpback Gays (BS)(5): gay pair discusses one guy's hump (Butchie?) • The Lovers 4* (DM)(5): the lovers talk about their love (directed by Mark) • My Training* (BKM)(5): man who participates in competitive bathtub-soaking

The Test-Tube Baby (SD)(5): man complains about being a test-tube baby • Kathie & Dry Cleaner (BMSK)(5): Kathie sleeps with dry cleaner (Kathie, Cathy, Tanya, Secretary, Bigot Cabbie) • Whores (DSK)(5): first timer (Whores, Rudy) • Starving Street Singers (BKM)(5): street singers look for food (Street Singers) • Communist Threat (DK)(5): man talks about the communist threat • Whores (SK)(5): Maudre pretends to be Rudy's wife (Maudre, Rudy) • Man's Girlfriend's Jobs (all)(5): man who wants girlfriends with various jobs

Shoe Shine--He's not stoned; he's just noticing things. • The Monkeys--Be afraid. Be very afraid; he might let the monkeys loose. • You Scuzzy Piece of Filth!--He dialed wrong. • Raj and Christine: Temporary Roommates--She contributes; she shoplifted for him. • Husk Musk--The bottled scent of Danny.

Clothes-Talker (K)(5): man talks to his clothes • Sid & Sharisse Wedding (all)(5): Sid & Sharisse get married (Sid, Sharisse, Sid's Friend) • Whores (DSM)(5): film producer (Whores) • Darn Near Puked (BSK)(5): office workers discuss ""gross"" things • Whores (DS)(5): high heels and old boyfriends (Whores) • Scott's Vision (SM)(5): Scott has a vision after reading a list of men who died of AIDS • Again! Again! (SKBM)(5): old man asks women to dance in their underwear

Police Department (BM)(5): 2:16 p.m. Cherry Beach - madness in L.A. (Police Department) • Bleeding Ear (KDB)(5): man's ear starts bleeding at dinner • Bikini Inspector (B)(5): man complains about ""Bikini Inspector"" T-shirts • Wedding at Buddy's (SKM)(5): Buddy conducts a marriage ceremony (Buddy) • This Scene Was Written in Haste...* (SDK)(5): a sketch written in haste • Hi-Tech Car Alarm (M)(5): Tucker followed by a car after setting off its alarm (Tucker)

Cyclops (SD)(5): cyclops at a party • The Convenience Store Worker (all)(5): A convenience store clerk has his performance reviewed by executives • Hillbilly's Problem (MDSKJ)(5): A hillbilly has some problems after his cow kicks him in the head (Nurse Unloop) • Fran the Italian (SM)(5): Fran feels out of sorts (Fran)

Wrote the Report Naked (DKS)(5): free spirit writes a report (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss, Bingo the Clown) • Don't Shut off My Cable! (SM)(5): Korean War vet doesn't want to lose his cable (Disgusting Old Man) • My Gazebo! (all)(5): woman's gazebo disappears (Police Department) • Scott on Los Angeles (S)(5): a monologue from Scott on a dream he had • Carlo the Scientist (BM)(5): Darryl participates in an experiment (Darryl)

Greater Possibilities (DK)(5): Man with submarine for an office • Steps Guys at Home (SDK)(5): Butch calls 555-JERK (Steps) • "Living Proof" Press Conference (MKB)(5): Band dies in a bus crash • Big Bucks* (B)(5): Man with a bizarre job gets the big bucks (directed by Bruce)

Band Killer (BKM)(5): Capture of a serial killer (Police Department) • Brown Stuff (DS)(5): A.T. & Love boss has a problem (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss) • I'm Late (KB)(5): The perfect couple practices being perfect • Steps* -- AIDS (DKS)(5): Steps guys discuss AIDS (Steps) • Bye Stan* (all+J)(5): Guy wishes everyone a good weekend (Danny Husk, Cathy, Kathie, Ms. Ferguson?) • Bellini Day (BMDP)(5): Aliens celebrate Bellini Day (Paul Bellini, sorta)

Francesca, Bruno, & the Voiceover Guy (SDM)(5): voiceover guy corrects Francesca's grammar (Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones) • Sperm Bank I (SMBK)(5): the humanoids rob a sperm bank (Humanoids for Humanism) • The Queen at Tea (DKS)(5): the Queen drops by unexpectedly for tea (The Queen) • Sperm Bank II (MBK)(5): sperm bank continued (Tucker, Armada in stills) • Man of Destiny (D)(5): a busy guy • Sperm Bank III (BM)(5): sperm bank continued (Police Department in still) • Heart Channel (all)(5): a truly bizarre pledge drive (Nena, Murray, Doctor, Nurse Unloop, Terrier) • Sperm Bank IV (-)(5): sperm bank concluded

Noisy Roommates (DK)(5): man has problems with his "44" noisy roommates • Memoirs (SD)(5): husband and wife read "Memoirs" and reminesce • Journey to the Top of the Stairs (KSM)(5): a musical number

End of the Beginning (P)(5): Bellini listens to the radio (Paul Bellini) • Armada Grows Old (MBK)(5): Armada sees the future (Armada) • The Sixth Kid (all)(5): Jeff Berman tribute • Buddy's Bar - Closure (S)(5): Buddy closes the bar • On Censorship (KDB)(5): ""recap"" of censored episodes • A.T. Buyout (all)(5): Everyone is fired (Cathy, Kathie, Tanya, Ms. Ferguson, Secretary, A.T. Boss) • Burial (all+P)(5): the boys are buried and Bellini speaks! (Paul Bellini)

This Season 5 Best-Of Compilation features fan-favorite sketches: God is Dead, Chicken Lady at the Mall, Hillbilly's Problem, The Convenience Store Worker, Meet Your New Male Slave, and Disgusting Old Man.