The Dick Van Dyke Show

Alan Brady is throwing a party at his penthouse for a few of the network executives and he wants the writing staff to attend. Unfortunately for Rob though Laura thinks Richie is on the verge of being sick and wants to stay home. Rob is certain he'll be okay and wants to get a babysitter but he's having a hard time convincing Laura.

Rob has only one day off from work and Laura is upset that Rob won't eat with her or do anything but sleep until 11am. Laura tells him he got about 7 seconds worth of sleep! (She set the clock ahead two hours!) Laura worries she is getting old (because of gray hair Rob found). In the office Rob tells Buddy and Sally the problem, but Rob has no idea what he and Laura fought over (She was crying to hard) Rob thinks over what may have made Laura cry. Rob calls her to say ""I Love You."" Laura tells Rob not to come home for an hour. (Millie ran out the hair color she use it all last week.)

Laura tries to get Thomas (her cousin) and Sally together, but when Sally arrives Thomas doesn't get to say much, Thomas likes Sally anyway!

While clearing out the bedroom closet, Rob finds his old army boots, bringing back memories of how he and Laura first met.

Rob runs into Harrison B. Harding but Rob doesn't recall who he is. Harrison knows everything about Rob which bothers Rob greatly. So the Harrisons come to dinner, Rob thinks Harrison may be a con man. Ritchie tells Harrison where Rob's wrist watch is. Rob calls the police to report a possible robbery (it has not happened yet) So in order to find out more Rob listens with the glass up against the wall (the wrong end of it which cause Rob to get Tomato Juice in his ear.) When the police come Harrison explains he needed the watch to correct the spelling of Petrie (Harrison forgot to add the letter e.)

Jerry plants seeds of mistrust in Laura's mind when he learns that Valerie Blake, the beautiful movie star, will be guesting on The Alan Brady Show. Laura doesn't listen to him until Rob begins a string of late night work sessions. Soon Laura's jealousy begins to grow and Rob will have to work just as hard to convince Laura that nothing is going on between he and Valerie Blake.

Rob wonders if Laura will go back into show business after someone is ill.

Buddy and his wife can't take their German Shepherd, Larry, with them on a three-day weekend. Buddy wants Rob to keep Larry for the weekend, but Rob refuses because he hasn't talked it over with Laura. The next time we see Rob, he's trying to sneak Larry into the house. Ritchie is afraid because he thinks that Larry is a wolf and Laura can't sleep because Larry is crying. What is Rob to do?

Rob's not as impressed with Buddy's new Meershatz pipe as he is with the fact that it was a gift from Alan Brady. Not just impressed but envious as well. After all, he is the head writer of the show and begins to feel as if he isn't needed. Getting sick and having to miss work for several days doesn't help his insecurities.

Rob trips over a toy that Ritchie to pick up he even forget the Bridge night! Rob has also asked the PTA to come to a taping of The Alan Brady Show Mrs. Billings (Eleanor Audley) president of the PTA comes by to get the 44 tickets, Rob forgot to get the tickets! Now Rob has a few tickets. Mel gives Rob 6 tickets leaving 4 the U.N. (Mel's U.N.) Rob calls home thinking his wife is on the phone and asks (Ritchie) if could speak to mom. Rob goes to say 43 can go in and 33 can't go in. Rob buy a ticket (last weeks) for 50 cents. Rob has 31 tickets and starts telling the PTA he didn't get all the tickets. Mel tells Rob there are no tickets, the PTA will be in the show!

Rob buys Laura a hideous necklace but Laura can't bring herself to tell Rob how she really feels about it. When Rob invites his parents to see the necklace, his mother has a surprising reaction.

Rob takes Laura's advice when Laura shows Rob how to treat Sally like a lady after seeing her treated like a guy. Laura doesn't realize what trouble she causes! Rob hopes Laura's plan to get Sally a man works. Buddy & Mel talk about Sally & Rob going out to lunch leaving Buddy and Mel to believe Rob could be dating Sally behind Laura's back!

Buddy wants to leave the show to become Head Writer of another show. Mel can't release Buddy from his contract, so he helps Rob and Sally write a memo to Alan to encourage him to fire Buddy.

Rob recalls the hilarious events leading up to Ritchie's birth when Ritchie asks the inevitable question.

Rob uses Laura's habit of opening his mail as the basis for a sketch on The Alan Brady Show.

Laura Millie and Jerry are watching the latest episode of The Alan Brady Show, Jerry tells everybody including the police officer who comes by to ask for tickets that show was bad. Rob takes Millie's advice (after Rob asks if everybody wants more coffee & Millie tries to Jerry to stop joking) pours hot coffee on Jerry's pants! Ritchie comes home and says Jerry got punched in the nose by Rob. Rob later tells Laura that he didn't punch Jerry in the nose. He later hears a waitress say she liked the show. Jerry tells everybody at the restaurant the show was bad (forcing Rob to hit Laura in the nose (with a fingernail!)

Laura wants to get ahead on paying taxes and tries to ask Rob about a $25 check while he is watching a boxing match and is mad because he missed the punch. Rob tries to figure out how to ask Buddy to pay him $25. Rob lies to Laura by saying Buddy paid the money back. While Jerry & Rob play chess Jerry says Rob should do a show on it to give Buddy the hint (to pay Rob back) Buddy think Rob owes him. Keep in mind the debut should have been paid 6 months ago!

The Alan Brady Show is looking for talented kids and Rob is asked to get auditions for practically every kid in the neighborhood.

Ritchie is starting to learn some new words. He says a bad word to Laura in the car. She thinks ignoring it is the best course, but Rob wants to have a "man-to-man" talk with Ritchie. Rob also wants to confront the family that he assumes is responsible for Ritchie learning the bad words, but that could prove embarrassing.

Buddy's wife is out of town, so Rob invites Buddy to stay at his house for the duration. Disaster ensues.

Rob is invited to talk to Richie's class about what he does for a living. However, Richie hates the idea, thinking the other kids will be bored listening to his dad talk about comedy writing.

Sally drags the entire gang to a bowling alley when she discovers a new dance sensation that's sure to sweep the nation.

Rob gets called for jury duty. Unbeknownst to Rob, Laura attends the trial. The defendant is an exotic dancer. Is she really innocent as only Rob believes? Is Rob going to be in a lot of trouble when he gets home?

Sally doesn't have a date for her birthday, then an old friend from high school (Leo Fassbinder) calls. Sally invites Leo to her apartment for a quiet evening, but Rob, Laura, Buddy and Mel think Leo is just a made up friend and plan to bring a loud party to Sally's apartment.

Rob tells Jerry that Stacey sleep walks, there is one problem Stacey needs to be awake to audition for Alan Brady. Rob plans a party for Stacey to see if he will make it on the show. Will Alan be there? Mel is asked to go to Rob's house but Alan will need to give up his poker game.

Rob's shy brother Stacey has a problem. He's a somnambulist! And Stacey's a great performer when he's asleep. How can Rob get Stacey to perform a great audition for Alan Brady while Stacey is awake?

Rob starts to feel like he does too much housework when Buddy warns him about the decline of the American male.

Rob faces a dilemma when a rambunctious old army pal must be told he cannot attend a special dinner party that the Petries are throwing to make an impression with an Alan Brady Show sponsor.

Laura meets Happy Spangler who guesses who she is married to. Rob got his first job from Happy. Rob offers Happy a job to help Buddy and Sally write the show but doesn't feel he can do it. The gang quickly gets tired of Happy. Rob has to let him go because Happy can't come up with a joke.

Rob brings home two baby ducks left over from the show, and Ritchie becomes attached to them. When one dies and the other becomes ill, Rob must convince him that wild animals are happier when left in the wild.

Rob tries to prove he can use a fake accent to fool Laura into flirting with a stranger, then is dismayed to think that he really has.

Rob and Laura tell Ritchie the story of their failed attempts to get married.

When Rob discovers Laura’s secret bank, he thinks he is getting a new projector for his birthday—but instead he receives a sports shirt, and begins to wonder what that money is really for.

Rob invites Buddy’s brother Blackie for a friendly game of pool, not realizing that he is a hustler.

Rob accidentally intercepts a hypnotic suggestion meant for Buddy, and doesn’t realize that every time he hears a bell ring, he starts acting like a roaring drunk.

Ritchie wonders what the ""R"" in his middle name stands for (Rose Bud) Rob and Laura figure out how to explain how he got Rose Bud for a middle name, it started when Laura tells Rob she is going to have a baby. Ritchie learns he has 7 middle names! (which spell out Rose Bud)

Rob thinks Rick Vallone isn't right for Sally and tries to make him drunk (Sally hates drunks) and asks Rick to fall in love with Laura. Laura is always to smart for Rob and he realizes love is too hard to break.

Rob comes home mad because the script needed a rewrite, Buddy was late & Sally left early. Rob leaves mad and goes for a walk. Laura wants a chance to talk to somebody so Millie listens not quite sure what they fought about.

Rob worries that Buddy & Sally aren't his friends & falling in love with each other. Rob calls Buddy at home and Pickles and thinks Buddy picked up the phone. Now Rob has proof (or so he thinks) that Buddy are working on another show. They are doing a nightclub act on the side.

Ritchie claims he is being attacked by a giant woodpecker, but Rob and Laura are convinced it’s just a bid for attention.

Rob, Laura, Jerry & Millie are playing cards, when Jerry thinks Rob might be sneezing because he keeps losing a game. Rob thinks he could be allergic to Laura. Rob goes to the doctor to find out he could be allergic to his wife!

Rob bites some chicken and breaks a tooth but feels bad when another dentist fixes the tooth. He worries that Jerry won't be his friend. Rob tries not to show his teeth. Jerry isn't mad at Rob.

Rob recalls directing last year’s PTA variety show, when jealousy interfered as he tried to pair the perfect Cleopatra with an amorous Mark Antony.

Rob & Laura read about a cat burglar and wants his picture in the paper. A noise is heard & Rob takes the gun but can't find the bullets! Laura puts them in her Jewelry box!

Laura has a problem when a girl asks for help in lading a role on the show. Laura's problems get worse as Janie tells Laura how far they go back in high school and she is single. Laura gets mad when Rob works nights with Janie, She begins to thank Mel and not Rob.

Buddy and Sally find Rob’s manuscript, which tells the story of the time he had to choose how to spend a three-day leave from the Army: go on a honeymoon with Laura, or travel back to Danville to tell his former fiancée Dorothy that he was marrying someone else.

Rob goes on an interview show, where he is tricked into describing Laura as a nut.

Rob recalls the day he became head writer of the Alan Brady Show, and his first day of work with Buddy and Sally.

In this classic, Rob has a dream - inspired by a late-night horror movie on TV - involving walnuts, missing thumbs, and a creature named Kolac.

Rob wonders why Laura is angry with him, and learns she objects to his habit of picking up checks when they go out with their friends.

Laura is convinced that Rob will hurt himself on a ski trip, and when he actually does, Rob tries to hide his injuries rather than admit she was right.

Rob and Laura hire a painter who seems to want to do anything but paint their walls.

Buddy and Sally are asked by Rob to help in a show for a friend of Rob's - Danny Brewster.

This week’s guest star on the Alan Brady Show turns out to be someone from Rob and Laura’s past—and they both have a reason to avoid him.

Rob gets to meet Henry Walden at literary party but feels uncomfortable when he learns that he is the only comedy writer. The Hotels can't get their names right!

Alan Brady is out of town so Tracy Rattigan is the host. Rob is going to have to fight to keep Laura. Rob doesn't like how fast things are going. Tracy loves driving Rob crazy, The gang writes the best show for Tracy.

Rob gets in the middle of a marital dispute between Buddy and Pickles.

Rob meets Jim Darling who is an old flame Laura dated. Rob won't tell Laura he ran into Jim at the office, Rob tells Jim they can't make it to his party because Ritchie is sick. Jim then brings the party to the Petrie home. Rob wants Laura to wear a jacket so Jim won't fall in love with her again.

Rob nearly ruins his own surprise birthday party after Laura finds out Rob already knows! Laura stays up all night planning the party. The guests are hiding in the Petrie house!

Sally gets engaged to Freddy White, a shady comedian who just wants her to write his act.

Ritchie gives Rob an idea for a comedy sketch, but Rob doesn’t know he saw it on The Uncle Spunky Show.

Rob recounts the day he became convinced that they brought home the wrong baby from the hospital.

Rob unwittingly bids on a painting at an auction, and when he gets it home, he uncovers another painting underneath that looks like a Grant Wood.

Are Rob and Laura married? This episode brings up that question as Rob asks Laura to sign insurance forms that Laura never signed. Laura does everything she can to hide a mistake Rob doesn't know about. Rob is tired of ""losing his wife"" He finds out he married a 17 year-old Laura.

Rob and Laura must get remarried for legal purposes, but it provokes an argument that could derail their plans.

Rob and Laura overhear Jerry and Millie complaining about them on the kid’s walkie-talkies, which makes for a cold dinner party.

Rob is recruited to direct another talent show, but this time Laura faces competition as the star.

While working on a joke, Rob should be going to Alan's house to talk about the joke. After hitting himself on the head with a violin (a real one) Rob goes to a party. The party is in Red Hook, New Jersey!

Rob’s Uncle George comes to visit in search of a wife.

A gangster asks Rob and the gang to write an act for his no-talent nephew.

The Ballad of Betty Lou, Is episode seventy-two, In which Rob and Jerry buy a boat, That really got their goat, 'Cause just as Laura predicted, As the Wisard of Id did, Their friendship was tested, But as soon as they rested, All was fine, So cast off the Line! - Van_Dyke_r@hotmail.com

Rob hires a maid who turns out to have broken arm, speaks only Spanish, and is expecting a live-in position.

Rob thinks he has seen the suspects in a jewelry store robbery, but is afraid to go to the police.

The staff has to plan a Christmas show.

Rob tries to stop a guest star from falling in love with him.

Rob is interviewed by a reporter, but the resulting story gives him a little too much credit for comfort at the office, thanks to Laura’s input.

Laura tries to setup Arthur with a wife she invites Sally & Donna on two different days. Laura really wants Donna date Arthur, when Donna & Arthur hit it Rob does everything to stop the date by locking Donna in the bathroom! Rob feels Sally won't have a chance with Arthur, Rob and Laura wonder who Arthur picked for his date, he picks his former wife who he married twice!

Rob meets Laura's old flame Joe Coogan at the country club, Rob tells Laura he met Joe and Laura thinks he looked in her shoebox where her pomes are kept. (The pomes are kept in the basement) What Laura doesn't know is the Sonnets give a clue as to what Joe does for a living. Laura & Millie play Golf with Father Joe Coogan. Laura invites Joe to dinner along with Buddy & Sally only to get a big shock.

Rob and friends play poker with marked cards that Rob was using to teach Ritchie some magic tricks.

Laura & Rob are deciding when to have his party day should it be 3 weeks after or before Ritchie actual date of birth? Laura says she will have the party at Dizzy Land (not Disney Land). Rob & Laura forget the Gardner has come and have the party inside (with 63 kids!) because the garden needed to be fertilized!

Laura wonders why Rob never wants to be alone with her.

Sally is famous overnight leaving Rob and Buddy to work alone.

Laura helps out at the office but drives Rob crazy while Sally is away.

Rob recalls a time when he left Camp Crowder to spend his honneymoon with Laura.

Rob's favorite star Paula Marshall is due to guest on the Alan Brady show but her demands cause problems for everybody.

The Petrie's parents fight over where Laura and Rob should be buried. They have to decide which burial plot to choose without upsetting their in-laws.

Rob has a new car that he loves and won't let anyone touch. When Laura takes Ritchie to school she gets a scratch on the car! When Rob finds out he wants to sue the person who did it.

Alan Brady is on vacation so Rob arranges for Edwin Carp and other stars of the golden era of radio comedy to guest on a tv special.

Laura's past comes back to haunt her in form of painting that is at an art gallery.

Rob ends up in jail after contacting an army buddy.

Rob and Laura see Jerry go out with another woman.

Rob goes to Buddy’s barber for a dubious treatment to prevent baldness.

The teacher falls in love with Laura.

Laura has a talent for judo when she defends Rob at a bar.

Rob, Buddy, Laura, and Sally spend the night in a cabin that is haunted. They later learn that Mel is playing a joke!

Roger Ritchie's Babysitter has fallen in love with Laura. Roger has trouble telling Laura that he loves her.

A disagreement over politics almost breaks up a friendship between Rob and Jerry.

Rob is offered a job at a men's magazine but Laura doesn't like the idea.

Sally finds a secret admirer turns out to be an unwanted suitor in the shape of DelI proprietor, Bert Monker. With middle-age loneliness the only thing they have in common, can she let him down gently?

Rob tells Buddy and Sally the story of how he and Laura met Lyle Delp.

Rob has to perform at prison, just as he is about to perform Rob is thought to be an inmate of the jail.

Millie gets a letter campaign together to make sure Rob still has a job.

Laura takes some of Millie's pills only to find that they make her drunk.

Rob tries to help get a raise for Buddy and Sally but finds that hard to do after talking with Alan Brady's accountant.

Rob tries to hide the fact he is sick as he helps Laura with a party.

When a writer comes to do a piece on the Alan Brady Show, Rob is worried about how Buddy and Sally will act in front of her.

Neil Schenk comes looking for a job while Rob returns an old favor.

Rob loses a script, and a hobo holds it for ransom.

Rob tells Buddy that he will play a joke on Buddy. When Rob doesn't do it, Buddy's troubles only gets worse as an IRS agent visits him.

Sally is asked to help Stacey learn how to date a lady.

Stacey meets Julie. Julie opens the letter and finds out who really wrote the letter. (Stacey signed the letter James Garner who is a friend of his but not the actor.) Now Laura and Rob must help Stacey get over Julie.

Laura & Millie drive Rob crazy when their sons are cast in a commercial.

Rob offers to hide The Redcoats at his home.

Rob takes pillow salesman to court after buying pillows that smell like chickens.

Rob and Buddy invest in Uncle Lou's shoe store.

Ritchie comes to his parents for advice on how to get Priscilla Darewell to stop hitting him. Soon Rob and Laura find out that Pricilla loves Ritchie!

Rob tries to get the royalites on The Bupkis after signing off on them eariler.

Rob and Laura may have found their dream house soon they find a rock in the center of the house!

Rob and Buddy find out that Sally's date is married.

Laura and Rob plan to see a play but she gets locked in a bathroom at their hotel.

Rob & Laura go to banquet to get an award for Alan Brady, but before they go Laura & Rob put their hands in a pot of black ink (Laura was dying a costume Ritchie needs for a play.)

Alan Brady is going on Broadaway, he asks Rob to add jokes to the play. Rob later whishes he hadn't agreed to help Alan.

Just before Rob meets Alan Brady for the first time he tries to stay awake for 100 hours while doing a radio show.

Rob has a new motorcycle and takes it for a ride and is later arrested.

Rob learns a leason after letting Buddy buy a coat that is to big for Laura.

A talk show host gets Laura to tell a TV audience that Alan Brady is bald!

Rob tries to write a novel, but finds that writing comedy is easier.

Rob and Buddy are working late, and keep thinking they hear a metallic voice saying ""Uhny Uftz""! The explore a supposedly abandoned office somewhere in the building, and find a somewhat 'mad' inventor (complete with a taciturn and vaguely menacing assistant) who has constructed a toy flying saucer. It works quite well, except that, instead of saying ""Merry Christmas"" as the inventor intended, the saucer only says ""Uhny Uftz"".

Rob tries to write a part for a dog who is going to be on The Alan Brady Show. After the dog's part is cut from the show Rob tries to find a home for the dog, But nobody wants the dog.

Rob recalls a time when Laura was the prize of a raffle. Rob does everything he can to keep Clark Rice from marrying Laura.

Laura talks Rob into going to her art class unaware that Valerie falls in love with Rob.

After Rob and Laura finish watching a movie Uncle Hezekiah gives Rob and Laura clue as to what the fortune might be.

Ritchie finds out the freckles on Rob's back form the shape of the Liberty Bell. Millie wants to send a pictrue to Odd But True. (a nwespaper column)

Maria (the Petrie's maid) tells Manuel Luis Rodriguez to go to the Petrie's because Maria feels that Rob can find him a job, but the only Manuel can do is be a bullfighter.

Alberta Nelson shines in a small part as Miss Reshovsky, the concerned elementary schoolteacher of note. Rob and Laurie Petrie are also asked to the principal's office to discuss their son.

Rob tells Buddy and Sally of the time he became the middle weight champion of his Army Camp.

After going to the Butcher's Shop to get something for dinner, Laura sees pictures (drawn By Charlie Wheelright) Laura wants to write a story to help sell Charlie's pictures. Rob doesn't like the idea because he always finshes her stories.

After fighting with Laura, Rob is arrested for hurting an old Lady. Rob has trouble telling police he didn't hurt the Lady (whom he saw in a barroom).

The Alan Brady Show is on hiatus Rob is worried about to support Laura (who is pregnant with Ritchie) Rob doesn't anyone to know he needs a job until The Alan Brady Show returns from hiatus.

After Rob loses his watch that he got as birthday gift, He thinks everyone he knows took his watch. Laura and Rob plan a party to say they are sorry after they learn a crook stole Rob's watch.

Rob gives a speech at council meeting that will land him a nomination for city councilman of New Rochelle.

Rob decides to quit running for his seat on the New Rochelle city council after meeting the opponent running against him because of his experience.

Laura gets a brooch that (in the shape of the United States) tells the history of the Petrie family. Laura later puts the brooch in the garbage! We learn that Rob's mom hates the brooch!

Mel is in trouble for not telling Alan that there was a change in the script. Rob tries to get Mel to stick up for himself, But Mel gets fired.

Rob and Laura leave Anchor Texas to go to Mexico only to find that marriage is hard to do. They soon find out that getting a divorce is easier than they thought (it costs $10 in Mexico!)

Sally really wants a husband she goes on ""The Stevie Parsons Show"" thinking she has finally found a husband or has she? Stevie asks Rob to help in a stunt where Stevie picks a letter written to Sally, One problem Sally has no idea what will happen! Wait until Sally finds out who Box 7030 is!

Rob & Sally think Buddy is having an affair but he is getting ready for his bar mitzvah.

Rob and Laura are attending a wedding in Albany, Rob is asked by Alan to watch a fashion show. He promises to tell Alan what he thought of it. Rob has to hurry to the church to usher a wedding.

Rob fears his job is gone after reading a memo (found in the trash where they are looking for this week's script that Buddy lost) Rob almost writes for Jelly Bean a snail!

Jerry & Millie are having their anniversary party, at the Petrie home one problem the party is a part of documentary that focuses on Alan.

The staff sends a script to Alan Brady without deleting the insults directed at the star that they routinely add to blow off steam.

Ritchie's bedroom is used as a stakeout point (it has the best view) Harry Bond is looking for the nephew of Wendell Gerard, Rob loves the gadgets the agent brings to solve the case.

Rob gets a movie role, but he has to kiss a woman. Laura makes sure that nothing else happens.

Laura and Rob spend time with the Staggs and going to the theater,Jerry & Millie feel left out.

Rob & Jerry go fishing leaving Laura (who has a cold) home alone with a mynah bird. Millie comes back to keep Laura company, Millie couldn't find Laura (She was taking a shower).

Under anesthesia for a dental procedure, Rob dreams he is a sheriff in the old west.

Rob gives Laura his book (it took 5 years to write.) As Laura begins to read the book, we see classic moments from several episodes. The book takes us through how Rob and Laura met as well as how Rob almost missed his wedding! Later Rob talks about waiting for the birth Ritchie. As Laura finishes the book Rob tells her the publisher hated the book, Alan Brady decides to make the book into a TV series!